in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
