How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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