he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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