are you still at the devil's house?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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