we're blogging at a bar
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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