You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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