u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
