Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
