so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sarcasm needs its own font
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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