When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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