the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
