weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
