im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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