Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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