Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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