If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
