that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I would fuck him just for his dog
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
