i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
