I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN