Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
