mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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