He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
