Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
