I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
