everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
