I'm gonna have a badass scar
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
