about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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