That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
