So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
