spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
