honey bunches of taint.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
