I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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