I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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