Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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