you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
