I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
