Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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