some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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