we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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