I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
