make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize