K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
