What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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