So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
