Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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