Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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