there's paper in my vomit.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
