Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
