So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
