Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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