She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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