I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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