Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your tits are I can't wait for
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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