I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
