My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
