Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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