Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
