There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
