the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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