mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
